I can't tell you the number of times I've thought about reaching out to you since March. Wanting to see how you were doing, make sure you were okay, reassure you that even though things were scary and strange, that things would get better.
At first, I talked myself out of writing anything, reaching out, with the rationale "they don't actually need or want to hear from me", "why would they care what their former science/math teacher has to say", etc.
And then, as time went on, it became harder to reach out because of how much time had passed. "Why should they care what you have to say NOW? Where were you 4 months ago?". And also "nothing you could say could possibly matter to them". There's a lot of negative self-talk that happens, even with adults. :P
I also was torn on whether to reach out, given my own levels of fear and anxiety surrounding the pandemic. I didn't want my anxiety to impact how you feel about things. There are many people who are less anxious during this time than I am - who are more calm and confident that they'll be okay. Teachers want to be able to be reassuring sources of support to students - and though I am no longer your teacher, I still feel that responsibility - that I would need to be strong and calm if I were to reach out. And I definitely did not feel strong or calm at the start of shelter in place.
But we're nearly at the start of a new school year, and I just can't keep putting this off. There are things I should have said months ago, that I'll say now.
First and foremost: I sincerely hope you and your families are all safe and well. I have thought about you and your teachers often, particularly when the crazy lockdowns started in March, through the end of the school year, and now again that it's nearly the start of the next school year. I can only imagine how challenging a time this has been for you all, navigating a sudden change to online learning, from being at home all day every day with your families, not being able to hang out with friends.
I wasn't teaching during covid-19 lockdowns, and I wasn't a student. So I can only imagine what it was like for everyone.
I only know how hard it was for me, particularly in the beginning. I've been working from home since early March, which has been fine - but I have never felt more distracted in my life as I was during all of March and some of April. I was constantly worried about survival, about safety, about how we would get our basic needs met while avoiding going out. I was scared for myself, for my partner, and for my mom. My mom had brain surgery toward the end of March, and it was so hard not being able to go into the hospital with her. Hard just waiting by the phone to get updated on how surgery went - terrified they'd call and tell me she hadn't made it through the surgery. Thankfully the surgery went fine, but then I was having to wait for another call letting me know when I could pick her up and take her home. I spent two weeks quarantining at her home with her after the surgery, wondering if she had gotten exposed to covid while in the hospital - if we'd both end up sick because of her getting surgery.
She didn't get covid while at the hospital, and we were fine. I'm still scared for all of us, but I've figured out where and how I can make sure our needs are met, and so my daily survival anxieties have gone down a lot. But from the experience, I now have a much greater understanding of how anxiety, worries, and basic needs can play such a big part in our ability to focus, to learn, and to work.
I hope your teachers were flexible, and had empathy and compassion for what you were going through. I hope they didn't push for or expect too much academically, considering everything going on. I hope they were more concerned with how you were doing personally, and less concerned with what work you were completing. Had I still been teaching, I would have had a really hard time balancing what I felt was best to focus on (everyone's health and emotional well being), vs. what districts and admin may have been pushing to focus on (content, assignments, assessments).
I hope your teachers were given the support and autonomy necessary for them to be successful. It had to be incredibly stressful for them. Again, I can only begin to imagine how hard it was for them to suddenly try to teach online while also having their families at home, and while worrying about the safety of everyone they know and love (including you all!).
I hope your parents and teachers are engaging you in conversations about racism and white privilege, and what needs to be done to make life in the US fair and safe for everyone.
I hope the schools you go to next year make the right decisions to ensure that you, your classmates, your families, your teachers, and your teachers' families are all safe.
I would love to hear how you are doing, if you'd like to share. Feel free to post a comment, or message me on Twitter. And feel free to share this with anyone else that had me as a teacher - only a few of you were in Remind, so I was only able to send this post to the students that were those groups.
At first, I talked myself out of writing anything, reaching out, with the rationale "they don't actually need or want to hear from me", "why would they care what their former science/math teacher has to say", etc.
And then, as time went on, it became harder to reach out because of how much time had passed. "Why should they care what you have to say NOW? Where were you 4 months ago?". And also "nothing you could say could possibly matter to them". There's a lot of negative self-talk that happens, even with adults. :P
I also was torn on whether to reach out, given my own levels of fear and anxiety surrounding the pandemic. I didn't want my anxiety to impact how you feel about things. There are many people who are less anxious during this time than I am - who are more calm and confident that they'll be okay. Teachers want to be able to be reassuring sources of support to students - and though I am no longer your teacher, I still feel that responsibility - that I would need to be strong and calm if I were to reach out. And I definitely did not feel strong or calm at the start of shelter in place.
But we're nearly at the start of a new school year, and I just can't keep putting this off. There are things I should have said months ago, that I'll say now.
First and foremost: I sincerely hope you and your families are all safe and well. I have thought about you and your teachers often, particularly when the crazy lockdowns started in March, through the end of the school year, and now again that it's nearly the start of the next school year. I can only imagine how challenging a time this has been for you all, navigating a sudden change to online learning, from being at home all day every day with your families, not being able to hang out with friends.
I wasn't teaching during covid-19 lockdowns, and I wasn't a student. So I can only imagine what it was like for everyone.
I only know how hard it was for me, particularly in the beginning. I've been working from home since early March, which has been fine - but I have never felt more distracted in my life as I was during all of March and some of April. I was constantly worried about survival, about safety, about how we would get our basic needs met while avoiding going out. I was scared for myself, for my partner, and for my mom. My mom had brain surgery toward the end of March, and it was so hard not being able to go into the hospital with her. Hard just waiting by the phone to get updated on how surgery went - terrified they'd call and tell me she hadn't made it through the surgery. Thankfully the surgery went fine, but then I was having to wait for another call letting me know when I could pick her up and take her home. I spent two weeks quarantining at her home with her after the surgery, wondering if she had gotten exposed to covid while in the hospital - if we'd both end up sick because of her getting surgery.
She didn't get covid while at the hospital, and we were fine. I'm still scared for all of us, but I've figured out where and how I can make sure our needs are met, and so my daily survival anxieties have gone down a lot. But from the experience, I now have a much greater understanding of how anxiety, worries, and basic needs can play such a big part in our ability to focus, to learn, and to work.
I hope your teachers were flexible, and had empathy and compassion for what you were going through. I hope they didn't push for or expect too much academically, considering everything going on. I hope they were more concerned with how you were doing personally, and less concerned with what work you were completing. Had I still been teaching, I would have had a really hard time balancing what I felt was best to focus on (everyone's health and emotional well being), vs. what districts and admin may have been pushing to focus on (content, assignments, assessments).
I hope your teachers were given the support and autonomy necessary for them to be successful. It had to be incredibly stressful for them. Again, I can only begin to imagine how hard it was for them to suddenly try to teach online while also having their families at home, and while worrying about the safety of everyone they know and love (including you all!).
I hope your parents and teachers are engaging you in conversations about racism and white privilege, and what needs to be done to make life in the US fair and safe for everyone.
I hope the schools you go to next year make the right decisions to ensure that you, your classmates, your families, your teachers, and your teachers' families are all safe.
I would love to hear how you are doing, if you'd like to share. Feel free to post a comment, or message me on Twitter. And feel free to share this with anyone else that had me as a teacher - only a few of you were in Remind, so I was only able to send this post to the students that were those groups.